In sports, a coach is someone with applicable experiences who mentors a novice to improve by sharing past learning, observing implementation, and critiquing performance and results. Coaching is an effort to help the learner improve more quickly by taking advantage of the first-hand knowledge and experience being shared by the coach.

In life and in business, coaching is identical. Coaching is ALWAYS for the benefit of the one receiving the coaching. Sometimes it can be hard for the coach to stand back or stand down when coaching is not readily accepted, or even asked for. This is hard if you see the need and witness the pain, struggles, or lack of performance. It is even harder if you are personally affected by the struggle. Maybe then, you are not the coach for the situation.

Recently, I had this wonderful experience.

I have written about a loving friendship that I am both best friend and trusted coach (sometimes). This friend has been making their way through the major life transition of retirement. Though we talk about what we will do when our time becomes our own after retirement, I have observed that in the absence of the structure of the work life we mastered there is a period of time when we feel at loose ends until we clarify our new purpose and find a new way to structure our time.

After a year of rest and wandering, my friend was anxious about big life responsibilities (care-giving) and frustrated that they were not advancing their life at the pace that they thought they would have set. Simply, they thought that they would be further along with their life projects they had put on hold until retirement.

Knowing that ‘telling turns people off,” I shared some questions via email after a loving conversation.

It took some days and then I was told by my friend, “I am writing every night. Thoughts are pouring out of me. I am writing pages. There is so much to think about. I can’t wait to share my thoughts but I need to keep writing. Last night, I got out of bed at 1:30 a.m. because I need to write some more. I am so excited about what the future holds. Thank you.”

Then he picked up his guitar (music is his passion and has been silent for too long) and serenaded me a John Lennon song. He then told me he had written another song for us. I will wait to hear this beautiful tune.

Waiting is worth it. Caring more about another person’s journey is rewarding. This coach will join her friend and celebrate his success and share in the fun!

Have you ever had this reward experience of helping another find their path with good questions and gentle support? Tell us your story.

If you really care about the other person’s growth be steadfast, not pushy, or impatient; but be available, unconditional, and prepared to offer up some assistance. Don’t give up when your offer of help is not acted upon. Being right, doesn’t make the situation right or the coaching relationship strong.

If you recognize someone who needs a helping hand, a fresh perspective, or listening ear, lean in to the relationship. But don’t be upset should their help not be accepted. You never know, it might be the right moment.

Leslie

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”

~ Lao Tzu