Allowing Travel to Make a Change

are “Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.”

— Anthony Bourdain

I have always been curious and my best self when experiencing another culture. This was developed at a young age when, as an early reader, I discovered different worlds. It continued as my mother expanded my horizons with exposure to different food, music, art, rituals, and guests in our home from foreign lands. I was encouraged to value difference and embrace new experiences with delight. I didn’t actually travel very far from home or leave the United States until I was selected as an AFS foreign exchange student to Australia in my senior year of high school. My mother wanted my mind and heart and life experience to be expansive, diverse and multi-cultural. She brought the world into our home until I started to travel the world. I am so grateful today for this orientation.

This wide-horizon, discovery mode really honed my skill for learning and loving the process.

And it is not only the momentary experience of the excitement (and sometimes trepidation) of something out my norm but a strong desire to incorporate new thinking, things, and ritual from culturally different experiences into my life.

One of my favorite questions to ask individuals that I am getting to know (through interviews, as their coach, or in a first meeting) is a biggie….”What are the formative experiences of your life that make you who you are today?”

As I reflect on my formative experiences, most are tied to the times when I was in foreign place, navigating a new language, new cuisine, new geography, new cultural habits — when I needed to be most alert, observant and aware. It is always when I am in learning mode that I feel most alive and stretched. I find in these times that I am also tested. My values are tested:  my ability to stay in balance, open, curious, and safe. Am I able to adapt and develop the relationships I need to do what I need to do? How will I be received? How will I be perceived?

During that year away from my family in a faraway land where a letter took six weeks to travel one direction, I really was able to grow and learn in ways that stay with me today. I often say, “I carry Australia in my pocket.” The young, type-A adolescent from a broken family lived with a very intact family system and benefited from the laid-back, buoyant Aussie culture. I brought it home with me and it stays with me today.

This initial trip and travel lit the flame of being a vagabond. I went on to study in England and take a year off between jobs and backpack around the globe with my best buddy Lise. And from then on to travel intentionally for work and play. You quickly learn that the world is a very small place, that there are good, kind people

“Travel is never a matter of money but of courage” – Paulo Coelho

From each of these experiences I tried to bring a ritual into my life that stayed for good. I attempted to observe ‘tea time’ for many years. Words from different languages are sprinkled throughout my vocabulary, and each new way of living has enriched my life. I can take it slow and observe siesta or sit to enjoy my ficka coffee and chocolate as do my Swedish friends.

I always bring back food from each trip to share for weeks with friends and neighbors. My many years of traveling to Sweden for work and play have stayed with me and inspired the cottage that I live in today by the Great Lake Erie (painted Swedish read and filled with Swedish antiques). I delight in hosting an annual December Swedish Glogg party and serving a traditional Swedish breakfast.

In addition to adopting something from each culture and experience, I create friendships on every trip. That is maybe the most precious gift!

As I boarded a plane with a friend after two weeks on the island of Kauai, I asked: “What is your biggest take away from this trip?” The immediate answer was: “Everyone on the island was kind and generous. I am going to take this Hawaiian attitude with me and use it daily. I am going to let people merge when I drive, hold open doors, smile, and help everyone I meet.” Several months later my friend was still holding on to ‘Hawaiian’ in the same way as I hold my Aussie in my pocket.

I am like a patch work quilt of life experiences. I consider this richness a gift and privilege.

• What influences your formation? What habits have you adopted that make you unique and your life enriched?
• How do you share your ‘Hawaiian’ with other at work and home?
• What experiences light up your learning self?