Are You Good in a Crisis?

What is your first instinct when experiencing

difficult, challenging, and even dangerous situations?

I don’t spend a lot of time worrying. I tend to take action on the things that concern me or need to be addressed. I know much of this behavior is my personality style. I shape my environment through action and interpersonal touch. I was born with this preference as the style tools suggest. But I have also honed the competencies that support this style. My mother would say, ‘She has wings tattooed on her behind.’ I would need them to learn how to fly when I jumped off the metaphorical bridge without the bungee cord.

I also have a very good grip on fear. Fear is a good emotion that can keep you safe when a crisis floods your system with adrenaline and triggers your primal fight or flight response. I know the difference between when to listen to my primal brain and when to assert my own calm into the picture. Early in life I chose to push fear aside in most situations and replace it with action or interaction.

My natural instincts and my personal commitment to self-awareness and self-control really have served me well. I find myself saying to people who remark on my calmness when conflict or crisis is surrounding us like a wild fire, that “I am the person to have with your when hard, difficult, and even dangerous things are happening.”

I admire my clients who are in the emergency services because, like them, my instinct is to run into the fire, or jump into the water, or intervene when people are threatened. The good news is that I do not have military training, nor have I trained with police, fire, or paramedics, so I won’t do things that I am not trained to do. But, I am trained as a Red Cross Life Save. I can do CPR and I was a Ski Patrol person, so watch out.

But, as is often the case, I digress.

I have learned to embrace fear and turn it into a positive response. Is it just because of my personality style? Can it be learned? Can it be over-used? Yes, Yes, and Yes.

I am not the first person to want be this way. But it is a choice:

• To choose optimism over pessimism.

• To choose taking action or inaction.

• To choose finding a positive path through hardship

• To turn bad experiences into life lessons.

I believe that the school of life is one of the best teachers. And I choose to engage the good and bad, the delightful and the distasteful; to fully enjoy what life has to offer and embrace it with a generous heart, which recognizes that bad things happen to good people and that bad behavior doesn’t always make for a bad person.

I sometimes surprise myself with this well of well-being in tough situations. Yesterday was one of those days.

I am on vacation. I have navigated airports, rental cars, driven through the mountains, waited out a blizzard and a five-hour delay due to accidents and avalanches, and was just about to start my first day of skiing with my friend. You don’t ski when you are tired or when the conditions don’t suit your ability. I was preparing myself to find my ski legs gently, enjoy the day safely, and take in nature with gratitude. And then a car appeared in front of us and our braking created a skid and we collided into a truck with our rental SUV with all-wheel drive. It happened in seconds. I used my favorite profanity. Then the calm girl kicked in. As the passenger, I assessed if we were ok. Then jumped out of the car and asked the same question of the driver and passenger of the other car. This driver was a young woman, a transplant from Sandusky, Ohio to the mountains of Colorado where she has been working and now just experienced her first automobile accident.

I walk towards her, standing a head in height over her and did what my instincts told me to do — I embraced her in a Leslie bear hug and told her it was going to be alright. We were alright. We would all be alright. I think this surprised everyone involved.

We quickly moved to calling the police, contacting the rental car company, talking through what happened and introducing ourselves. I took a quiet moment to make notes. To gather my thoughts and quiet my racing heart and the ‘Oh Shi%&*t’ thoughts dancing in my head about paperwork, expenses, insurance increases, blame, and disappointment that our day was upended.

I can proudly say that I maintained the attitude that I chose. We will work through the effects of the accident. Pre-planning is another competency that supports my life style for risk taking and full engagement. And yes, I did make lemonade from lemons.

Later in the day, I texted the other driver my contact information and this is the return text that I received, ‘Hi Leslie! You are so sweet – a true Midwesterner! Big heart emoji and you made the whole ordeal much less stressful than it could have been. Thanks so much!’

I am grateful to have been born with this life confidence and have chosen to further develop the skills and competencies to support it. I know when I use it responsibly it makes a difference with everyone involved. It brings out the best of the others involved and creates the possibility for a positive outcome. The true professional — Justin, the Breckenridge police officer — arrived on the scene and joined in the positivity fest making short work of the paperwork, assessing the situation, and giving a fair report, reinforcing that this is the kind of thing that happens when feet of snow fall quickly and wished us a safe day.

The sun rises on another day.

Today we will ski (safely). There is no guarantee that there won’t be more challenges but I am ready with my calm and my well-being.

• Are you?

• What are your instincts?

• Do you consciously work on your skillfulness to navigate crisis and challenge?

• Are you the leader in the moment that guides those affected through dark moments with the confidence and steadiness of a lighthouse?

• How might you practice the power of positive emotion today?

I need to put a disclaimer on this blog. Not all situations should be addressed. It requires good judgement, too. And, if I am under great stress, my ability to access this life-giving force for good is limited. I can only be the person I need to be in a challenge if I take care of myself physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I am committed to that journey.

“There is always calm in the midst of chaos, love in the midst of hate, and hope in the midst of despair.
You may not find them immediately, but have faith and hold tightly to your beliefs.”

~Bernajoy Vaal