Changes

“People undergo several sequential steps in maturing from infancy
including childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, middle age, and old age.
Each stage presents distinct challenges that require a person
to amend how they think and act.”

― Kilroy J. Oldster

Something has changed for me. Or maybe not at all. However, it was always right in front of my nose.

I find myself being very deliberate with how I spend my time — and with whom.

Whether it is aging, the pandemic, or just newly acquired wisdom, I recognize that time is precious, and life is fragile; thus how I spend my time is important.

Time management and organization are two of those competencies that a person needs regardless of what they do. Add stress management and mindfulness and you have a solid four-legged chair upon which to put your technical expertise and emotional intelligence for career and life success. This has been my pursuit my entire work life: learning, mastering, and sharing these competencies and traits.

Knowing this helps me prioritize my activities and use my time well. I choose to spend it with individuals, groups, and organizations that value the same things. In this way, life gets simpler for me.

What does this have to do with my new recognition of self?

Well, given a few days to relax at the end of a long week of work travel, I chose to spend my time with friends, visit some family members, and fill my head with new experiences. The friends were top of the list as they represent a place where I feel entirely myself — and we laugh a lot together!

These friends have not been in my life for a long time. Our relationship started with them as coaching clients. When the engagement was completed, we both expressed the desire to remain in each other’s lives. It was mutual and very simple. With this fun friend came her husband and family as a bonus, and I and my four-footed family were always welcome in their home — and they in mine.

Having just spent a few wonderful days with them — and plans for more — I realized that I had made a “friend at work.” In fact, I then did an inventory of my friendships and realized that most of my clients remain friends long into the future. 

You might ask why did this become curious to me today? 

It popped into my mind because it reflected one of the twelve measures of engagement on the Gallup Q12 survey for organization health. This is a tool that I like and respect because I find Gallup’s research valuable. Interestingly, though, is that my clients always wonder about the relevance to a healthy organization and employee engagement of Gallup’s question:  “Do you have a best friend at work?”

The explanation from Gallup is that the Boomer generation doesn’t place a high value on this attribute, but the Millennial generation does.

I am a Boomer and didn’t think that it was essential that I make a close personal friend at work. But, I do need to like and respect the people I work for and with. I want to be friendly. I want to share my whole self (appropriately) with those I spend so much time with. I want to know about them and their families, what makes them happiest, and when it is hard to do so, too).

I know how to make and keep good boundaries. I have always called this ‘wearing the right hat’ for the situation. I know when to use the consulting hat, the coaching hat, the counseling hat, and even the friendship hat. I have made good friends with clients who, too, know how to keep these boundaries.

My life is rich with friendships created over the years from workplaces, boards, travel, professional organizations, and more. We spend more time at work than any other activity in our lives, why wouldn’t I find my friendships in these settings?

This is not a big epiphany but it made me smile when I realized I had never thought that this Q12 question— “Do you have a best friend at work?” — applied to me. But it does.

• Do you have a best friend at work?

• Have you found someone with whom you want to share not just work success but life success?

These good friends are precious, as is the time we spend with them.

I am grateful to recognize that my work-life and life-life are truly blended and balanced and rich with friends.

Have a wonderful summer!

Leslie

“True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils.
Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island…
to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.”

— Baltasar Gracian