Food, Mood, and Learning

One of my favorite things to do is to connect with someone over a shared meal. Yesterday morning I had brunch at a favorite watering hole with a person whom I respect and whose company I enjoy. Janet asked me to meet with her to learn about a project she was working on and for which I could provide some support.

We didn’t race to order our food or immediately start down the road on the topic for which Janet was seeking help.

Instead, we just caught up on each other’s lives.

We were so energized by our conversation that it was an hour before we got around to ordering our yummy brunch. She went for the lunch side of the menu — I for the breakfast offerings.

Janet is an educator, learner, facilitator, coach, and caring individual. She knows the power of questions and being a good listener. She guided me and uncorked many stories sparked by her curious and loving questions. I paused often enough to ask her to share some stories too.

In these exchanges of our past and current lives, we discovered how much common ground we share. We are both women interested in supporting other people in finding their paths and experiencing success. We are helpers. We both leaned in and shared the journey of caring for our mothers in the last months of their lives. We were both at their bedsides to say the final goodbye.

We are both in the last quarter of our lives and still feel energized by our work and by learning. We love to read, learn new models, and share them with others. We each departed with a new list of books to read and new models to explore.

I am still floating on the energy of this exchange.

• Do you have someone who lights you up like this?

• When was the last occasion you made time for a meeting meant to support someone and then found yourself supported and uplifted by the exchange?

• Silly question: What would you have ordered from the menu, lunch or breakfast — or a combination of both?

Tears were shed as we told stories of our time with our mothers. We both had the very powerful experience of our mothers experiencing the adults we had finally grown up to be. And both our mothers shared their words of pride and love with us directly.

We also shared a few confessions. We reached hands across the table to lend support when we admitted our humanness and times when we may not have been our best.

The busyness of the restaurant around us faded away as we found ourselves in a bubble of caring and mutual respect.

I am grateful for Janet and for the healing and health that was exchanged.

While the world around me generally makes me weary, today my cup is filled and runneth over with the power of finding shared experiences and not differences, of caring and support without obligation, of clear boundaries and honest exchange, and of so much love.

Yesterday, I found myself flying through the rest of the day with energy to spare.

This morning I am holding onto those learning lessons and realize that I need to ask myself these questions:

• How do I want to spend my time?

• With whom do I want to spend this precious thing called time?

Obviously, I need to spend time with individuals who can spark this same joy, curiosity, and gratitude within me.

Thank you, Janet.

I don’t want to forget to tell you that dear Janet included our waitress in her asking of questions and interest in another person. She first asked her name. Then she admired her necklace which we learned was a reflection of her name – Amber. She then shared the story of her grandmother who had given her this necklace and with whom she discovered the love of garage sales and antiques. In minutes we found many ways in which the three of us had common ground and connection. She smiled. We smiled. And the world felt closer and kinder.

I am going forward, looking to find and see the ways in which we are positively connected and not dwell on the growing gaps of difference I see all around. It feels like I am carrying a lantern in front of me to illuminate my path — moving into the light and out of the darkness.

• Can you connect with this experience?

• Have you discovered the potential of a simple meal turned into a powerful exchange?

I wish this for you.

Leslie

“Once a month, go to lunch
with someone who knows more about your business than you do. “

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr

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