“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet;
how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of.
There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
— Fred Rogers
I was gifted with a high level of energy and a positive countenance. I don’t take my gift for granted; I realize it is one of my “superpowers.” That is not to say that I don’t get tired or feel hurt, pain, or grief. But I do try to approach each day, each situation, and each person with open trust, expecting positive outcomes, and without judgment.
My mantra for my entire career has been, “People are basically good, well-intentioned, and able to learn if they want to. And that we can do anything together — with effort.” This mantra is the attitude and set of principles that have carried me through the good times and bad.
I intentionally project, share, and voice positive messages to myself and others.
Sometimes this sunny personality is misunderstood, and my motivations questioned.
Some individuals don’t believe that it is authentic.
Yesterday, however, during a call with a stranger, he felt my energy, my positivity, and my pure intentions. This retired physician remarked that I really sound positive and energetically express love for my work and working relationships.
He was right. I do.
He — who is now my new friend — observed that I was very fortunate to feel this way about life and my work life. I shared back that I feel like I am (metaphorically) a Mary-Poppins-consultant who drops into relationships and situations where I am needed with my vast bag of tricks and experience. I try to contribute to situations that need courageous leadership with a song in my heart and a positive approach. I do this even when facing difficult choices and actions. In many ways, this is how I would frame my leadership style. It is my form of servant leadership.
If you could metaphorically find a characterization of who you are in this world, who or what would you say you are? What is your approach to leadership?
Similarly, I aspire to be like Mr. Rogers. To be a helper in life.
My role models include Mary Poppins, Mr. Rogers, Click and Clack – the Tappit Brothers, Helen Keller, Eleanor Roosevelt, and many individuals who have touched my life as friends, role models, mentors, and teachers. I take my inspiration from what I read, study, experience, and see in the actions and reactions of others.
During this time of chronic stress, uncertainty, and threats to our well-being, I see individuals rising to the daily challenges with thoughtfulness, compassion, significant self-awareness, and self-control.
However, not everyone or every situation is so pretty or positive.
If you take time to ask how an individual really is and how they are feeling, you might open the door to conversations that permit the expression of real hardship. Don’t run from the pain. Listen, affirm, and let them know you see and hear their fatigue and concerns. Trust that they will also — if given the opportunity to speak candidly — share how they are navigating and embracing the challenge.
Even the most energetic, positive, and capable person gets tired, loses their motivation, experiences hurt feelings and even fear. We are not impervious to feeling the ups and downs of the daily rigor of our work and working relationships.
When you lose your energy — and your can-do attitude goes into the low ebb — how do you recover?
How do you support those around you who have (momentarily) lost their footing and their ‘get up and go’?
This shared experience is testing us in so many ways.
Are you up to the challenge? What are you doing to maintain your balance? As you look to the future how are you going to sustain your engagement and connectedness to those who look to you to lead?
I am not thick-skinned. I, too, get bumped, bruised, and reach my energy limit. This is blog is a confession of my chosen and preferred approach to work and life. It is my statement that I, too, am human and feel the wear and tear of real-life people-struggles and the hardships of living and working.
But here are many ways in which I daily recover my focus, and recover from being hurt in the process of trying to do good work.
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- I pause and have conversations with friends.
- I make time for reflection and prayer, for rest and laughter.
- I spend time doing simple things.
- I seek the companionship of my animals, senior friends, and children—all of whom shift my perspective.
- And I keep my needs on my daily agenda.
- Lastly, I am slowing down my pace. I don’t think the response to this complexity is to be busier. Instead, I am being more intentional in slimming what I do and how I do it.
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This is year three of the pandemic. I am embracing my humanness and that of those around me who are giving it the best they can do in the moment.
What are you doing for yourself?
What can I learn from you?
Leslie
“In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts
and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.”
— Fred Rogers
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