This is the real secret of life:
to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now.
And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.
― Alan Watts
I have just had an experience that I highly recommend.
- Can you remember when you had to share a room with someone you had never met?
- Was it at camp, school, college, or during a vacation?
This opportunity stretches us out of our routine and comfort zone. We must decide what routines to maintain and how they will fit into our shared space. What routines can be let go because they are unique to our home-base environment? And what are the needs of our new roommate that will enliven our experience?
I find I learn a lot about myself when I am in a new environment with new people.
What is still true for me is:
I still run out of words and energy when the sun sets. I am on my dog-pack’s schedule, so I rise before the sun is up. I need But l need sleep and quiet time. And I will happily putter around in the early morning when no one else has risen.
If my new place and roommate experience is on a vacation (this is my second roommate adventure this year), I try to do any work-related responsibilities before anyone else is ready to roll so that I can be fully present for the vacation. Gratefully, this time my getaway is in the Rocky Mountains at a ski resort.
I am in a different time zone. A different altitude. A different terrain that fills my eyes and head with images that open my heart and chest.
The time change and altitude cause my mind to operate a little more slowly. Nothing seems to stick in my mind. I am simply living in the here and now. What a gift.
I still make my lists in the morning.
I still talk to everyone I meet, making momentary friendships along the way.
I am only responsible for myself, but I’m aware that my actions can create something positive or negative for those around me. So, I am thoughtful and curious. I attempt to make a connection with everyone I encounter. I am especially attentive to the workforce who have relocated for the ski season and come from all over to ski.
I love being stretched — having all my senses heightened to field all the newness.
Because I keep an eye on my home base — my dogs in the kennel and my work responsibilities — I have a foot in two worlds.
- How do you approach vacations? What does getting away mean to you?
- Have you recently had this roommate experience?
As we grow older, I think the opportunity to change your rooming experience becomes less likely until maybe you find yourself in a hospital or senior facility with a roommate or even a new romantic relationship. Or maybe it occurs on a train trip in an overnight couchette with several strangers? Or has an unexpected threat thrown you into a situation that required you to bunk with other people outside of your family and friends (weather-related, emergency crisis, unplanned something)?
- How do you function?
Each morning my new roommate (with whom I am making this ski trip and who is the sister of a friend) chat over coffee. I am a talker in the morning. As we discuss the day’s plans and share ourselves, I find I am learning things about myself as I tell my stories.
I am a talk-to-think person. Everything rolls out of me in the telling of the story. Only when I am done and hear myself can I sometimes articulate something I have learned in the process.
It is a bit of an Eureka! moment.
I can set boundaries. I am dedicated to forming relationships free of dependence. I want to be at liberty and give that same space to those I am with. I want to own my stuff and try not to do any work on changing anyone else but me. I focus on the strengths of those around me. I work to stay present and really see the person in front of me. I go easy on myself and others. I am flexible and still able to learn.
I have not always been this way. I am happy to discover that it now comes very easily.
To leave one’s comfort zone, travel to a new place, live with new people, and do new things is the core of my discovery.
I will return home to my beloved dog pack, a home filled with the familiar, and take up my responsibilities gratefully. I plan to carry with me some of the new awareness I have garnered because of stepping outside of my box.
- Do you have any opportunities In the new year, to be in a new setting with new people?
- Are you starting a new job, a new project, a move, or just a change of location for work or play?
I look forward to hearing all about it.
I feel like it’s time to shake things up again. I will hold onto what is most essential and important, and metaphorically clean my attic of mental cobwebs, letting go of habits that I no longer need to make room for all my new lessons. Truly, this is a gift.
Leslie
“Do not go where the path may lead,
go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
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