“Grandmothers are voices of the past
and role models of the future.”

— Helen Ketchum

“If we want our employees
to genuinely care about the organization,
its customers, and coworkers,
we must show our caring first.”

— A Business Saying

• How do you communicate that you sincerely care about the well-being of your workforce, coworkers, customers, vendors, partners, and anyone with whom you are in relationship?

• How do you know that someone cares about you?

Caring and appreciation don’t need to take extra time or cost any money, but the returns are enumerable. I have always been curious as to why recognition is talked about but not acted on with the same interest or intensity. We know that the act of recognition — when specific, sincere, and given generously — connects individuals to their work and each other. To be acknowledged for what you contribute and for your worth will fill one’s self-esteem and commitment bucket to the brim.

Why then do we tend to judge or criticize four times more than we complement or recognize when it is so easy, cost-effective, and rewarding to all parties?

My grandmother had a saying, “In working relationships, we frequently deliver four pokes for every stroke. To have a forceful impact in your working relationships, remember to reverse that ratio and consistently — for all individuals — deliver four strokes for each poke. (And if you can drop the pokes entirely, you will be more successful).” This advice has stuck to me.

So when reading the book “The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, Empowering Organizations By Encouraging People” I was reminded of my Grandmother’s words.

The framework of the book is an extension of the best-selling book “The 5 Love Languages”.

I like frameworks. They allow me to make sense of patterns of behaviors that help and hinder relationships in the workplace. The conversion of the 5 Love Languages to 5 Appreciation Languages makes the giving of recognition and appreciation more concrete. If you both know your own preferred language for receiving — as well as knowing the preferred language of others — you can make a more immediate, impactful connection of caring.

The 5 Languages of Appreciation are:

Using Words of Affirmation – Do you verbally share your appreciation in real time? Do you write notes of appreciation? Do you share your praise to all individuals throughout the organization?

Devoting Quality Time to the Individual – Your time and attention to an individual can communicate your commitment to them. When was the last time you stopped what you were doing to listen or reschedule yourself to devote time to another person at work?

Demonstrating Acts of Service – Do you look for ways to lighten the load of another person or help in a thoughtful manner?

Sharing Tangible Gifts – It doesn’t have to be expensive – just thoughtful. An observation of something that would be appreciated by the recipient. Little things thoughtfully selected go a long way.

Using Appropriate Physical Touch – We are human and if physical touch is the language of the receiver, then a hug can communicate the world when given with the best intention for the recipient.

Most importantly, any show of appreciation needs to connect with the individual. When we authentically connect on their “frequency” of appreciation, we increase their level of engagement — which affects retention, commitment, and productivity. When we show our caring, they extend their caring to us, the organization’s mission, and our shared constituents.

I am able to teach customer service but not caring. Caring is a person’s capacity to extend themselves to another, generously. If the culture is one of caring, caring will become the norm.

I have written in previous blogs that I am concerned that our choosing to work remotely can have a negative affect on culture, morale, relationships, and ultimately productivity. When everyone in the system is working remotely or we aren’t seeing each other regularly in a hybrid model, how does it affect the exchange of appreciation?

The book’s authors share research that illuminates the power of appreciation. It is not the monetary appreciation that affects retention but the non-monetary incentives that increase engagement and retention (McKinsey).

In a marketplace where we are struggling to find talent, the retention of our current workforce is paramount to organizational stability. MIT researchers found that “ . . . employees were three times more likely to resign due to a lack of appreciation in comparison to financial compensation issues.”

Time devoted to making intentional connections with each of our employees is a good investment of time. You can differentiate your organization by focusing on appreciation. It is not the only variable for organizational health but it is an attribute unattended by most.

“Expressing appreciation is not a common practice. A study by the John Templeton Foundation found that 74% never or rarely express gratitude to their boss, and 60% never express gratitude at work — or do so perhaps one a year.” (My Grandmother would say that is a little too little given a little too late to maintain a relationship.)

It seems like a little thing when there are so many other big issues to grab our attention. But the absence of this little behavior of appreciation for all may contribute to our bigger issues.

What would it hurt to work at earning the reputation of being abundant in your appreciation of others? It is just another form of gratitude. And both appreciation and gratitude exchanged is good for both the giver and receiver.

Let’s spread a little more joy and appreciation this  4th quarter of 2024 and enter the new year with deepened relationships. Let’s you and I have a conversation about your preferred Appreciation Language(s) when we are next together.

With much appreciation of you!

Leslie

“As we express our gratitude,
we must never forget that
the highest appreciation is not to utter words,
but to live by them.”

— John F. Kennedy