“We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn.
It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content.
The young, brash, and impatient, must always break the silence.
It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy.
It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking.
This is the great paradox.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
Something happened to me this weekend that felt like a divine intervention and resulted in healing me from the effects of the fraying world.
As I wrote in my previous blog, I observed that stress levels are high and the chronic nature and an unending future full of unknowns is taking its toll – even on the most grounded. And that includes me.
Many of us are working from the comfort of our homes in very casual attire, without a daily commute, or the pressures of interacting with people. If you had described this situation a year ago — without the overarching threat of a virus, cultural unrest, an election year and all that comes with it, and all the other world and life challenges — many would consider a home-based, summer-time work life style a mini vacation.
But that situation has turned out to be the furthest thing from that idyllic picture; and many people are feeling like there is no vacation time in sight.
Most of the support systems that help us shoulder our work and life responsibilities are unavailable. Thus, this home stay may include childcare, eldercare, and animal care on top of work and homestead responsibilities, edging out any self-care time.
My connections tell me they are working harder than ever with more emails, lengthy calls, and virtual meetings that leave little time to do the work of work, thus eating into the home-life schedule. We can run at this pace for a while but not for the entire distance of this Pandemic.
And just when you feel like you have mastered the new flow of the work/life load, it changes.
We are in the middle, far from either shore. We cannot go back to the way it was and nor can we see the safe landing. I now have a sense of how the early settlers might have felt, packed into boats too small, leaving behind all that they knew, running out of supplies, and not knowing when the unknown landing would come into view. I have read that there was some bad behavior on those journeys. And I am experiencing some acting-out, aggressive, and less-than-rational behavior everywhere I go. Even in my own backyard.
It is draining to live each day, striving to contribute, keeping ourselves and others safe while working to navigate all that is happening in our lives. It doesn’t take much to upset the emotional apple-cart.
I ended last week in this fragile condition. And though I am well versed in legal remedies to boundary-less behavior, and I know when to call in the higher authorities, it was conflicts and misunderstandings — both serious and pesky — that put me into warrior mode. I felt personally attacked, my values system attacked, my emotional safety attacked, and I worried for my physical and financial well-being. Too much all at once during an already stressful time.
I wanted to find a graceful way to deal with each situation, yet I wanted to not ignore or give in to things that I felt weren’t right. I wanted to speak my truth and set some boundaries; and do so in such a way to pour cold water over the fire. I gave myself some time to process it all and not let it add up to an overreaction towards anyone.
And then the divine gifts started to fall into my lap.
Several very good pairs of listening ears helped me to process my thoughts and feelings without telling me what to do.
I was also blessed by the gift of time, a good night’s sleep, and some distance from the events. As well as the unconditional love of my three animals who don’t care about goofy behavior but who just greet each day with a positive expectation and bring out the best in me.
Some very wise counsel.
And then I had an unexpected visit from a very good friend and her special-needs grandson who came to sit and play by the lake’s edge. I was wonderfully pulled away from my laptop for the weekend, which caused me to sit in the sun, listen to the waves, appreciate the gift of nature and friendship, and to see the world through the eyes of a young man who may be challenged but who is not weighed down by the news or fraying world events.
He lives in the moment, mostly with joy, loves bugs and moving water, smiles when he feels happy energy, likes animals, loves his grandmother – my friend — feels safe, make friends easily, and finds a way to communicate his appreciation.
All the power plays and blaming words of the week seemed so petty and unimportant after the gift of time with my friend and her grandson. Without them, I would not have stopped working my list, I would not have sat by the lake’s edge enjoying the day, I would not have gotten a sunny face, and I would not have been reminded about what is more important in life.
But I did, thanks to my friend and her grandson. Their lives and their love for life and friendship have lifted me and given me greater gifts.
• Where are you finding your grounding at this time?
• Have you had a similar moment that shifted your perspective and thus reset your intentions?
• What simple joys do you enjoy? When was the last you stopped to engage in this simple pleasure?
With Gratitude and Walking the path with you,
Leslie
“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.”
― Aldous Huxley