“Fatigue is the price of leadership.
Mediocrity is the price of never getting tired.”

— J. Oswald Sanders

Many days end with a conversation with a tired leader. I seem to be talking to many tired people these days and I love to support leaders who are engaged as they support the success of others.

I understand the tiredness. Not just because it is the change of season and it is dark in the morning when we start our workday and dark when we finish up and reconnect to our home lives. Our biological clocks respond to the sunlight. I behave like my pack of dogs; I want to snooze when it is dark — or at least switch into slow gear.

Our work lives have changed dramatically during the pandemic. Some people are working 100% remotely, some in a hybrid solution, and some are back in their offices full-time. This blend of working conditions has contributed to our increased email load, zoom meetings, and screen time. And, it contributes to our fatigue.

But this is not the tiring thing that my colleagues are expressing.

Toward the end of the workday, I passed along an email with a quick video on being an accountable leader. That is why I received many more calls than usual. My leader/ friends called to ask me why I had forwarded it to them.

Was it because they needed to become accountable leaders? Were they not shouldering all the many responsibilities of leadership and fielding all the conversations that need to happen if every employee is to be supported?

More than once, I heard this sentiment shared in a moment of exasperation — that these good leaders and managers could spend their entire day coaching because the need was so great. They know the importance of time shared because one of their prime motivations is to be an employer who creates a culture where individuals can work to their strengths, learn, grow, contribute, and prosper personally.

However, between doing the day-to-day technical work of the business and tending to the human needs of the workforce, there is always tension to manage. Both are equal in their importance. And my colleagues know this.

I didn’t forward the video clip to them because they were not fulfilling the responsibilities of leadership. As often as I can, I try to forward to those I support good content that will reinforce to them that they know their stuff; that they are innately wise in the ways of human motivation; and encourage them to trust their instincts and lead –— even when they are tired, and their efforts might be met with initial resistance.

The leaders/managers in my life always know what to do and they do it well — even when they are tired and frustrated. That is why I will always be available to them for their calls. And their venting. We all need someone to listen when we ‘let off steam.’

Being a good leader — a role model who chooses to act in the best interest of the organization and of its constituents — doesn’t mean that you don’t feel the emotions of anger, disappointment, fear, distrust, or frustration. Being a leader means you have self-control in expressing darker emotions in situations – but still, those emotions continue to exist and need to be vented somewhere.

• How do you vent your more negative emotions?

I hope they don’t show up in your self-talk. Or that you take them home. Or stuff them deep — hoping that they will stay contained.

We know that it is no longer acceptable to yell, scream, demean, or even be snarky toward each other.

We are responsible for our actions and our reactions.

In a quiet voice, I shared with my leader-friends:

          ‘Once you know – you can’t unknow.’

          ‘Once you learn the lessons — you can’t unlearn them if you are committed to your continuous improvement and effectiveness.’

Some of my friend-leaders wondered why it comes so easily to them — this understanding of human needs and knowing what the best course of action is. And with it comes responsibility. For a moment we all wish that we did not have this awareness.

So, when this feeling was expressed, we paused, and I asked them: ‘Would you wish this gift of leadership abilities away?’

The answer always comes quickly and firmly, ‘No.’

My recommendation to them — and myself when I feel this way — is: ‘Call it a day.’ Take your tired self home to your family. Luxuriate in their company. Recharge your batteries. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity.

I reminded them that it was the time of year to reflect on all that was accomplished and initiated. Make the list. Celebrate the efforts.

Then start planning for the milestones in 2024 that you aspire to make a reality.

I can relate to my colleagues. I am extremely grateful to be a purposeful person who feels responsible for so much. I also feel the weight of this responsibility. I cannot unsee the needs in the world.

As the year starts to come to a close, I will take my advice and account for the positive accomplishments, count the challenges as opportunities, pull some final projects across the finish line, celebrate, and share good cheer with others, and then …… set the course for another year.

These days I take the year in quarters, divide them into months, and live and work the plan week by week, day by day. You will always find me in the early, dark hours of a new day making plans and reviewing commitments. Then, I simply follow the plan forward.

Each day is a fresh opportunity to recommit to my best self.

May you find joy in your purpose and celebrate all your responsibilities this season!

Leslie

“A dream written down with a date becomes a goal.
A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan.
A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true.”

— Greg S. Reid.