If you can’t fly, then run;
if you can’t run, then walk;
if you can’t walk, then crawl.
But whatever you do,
you have to keep moving forward.
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have had the great fortune in my life to both to mentor and be mentored. In all cases I always learned something from the relationship. I have one mentor — from early in my move to Cleveland and in my decision to start a business — who opened doors for me, retained me as a consultant for her organization, cleared paths into the network of Cleveland, and gave me feedback straight. Pat Mead shared her wisdom and resources generously and showed me how to navigate the business world of my new home town as a young woman.
Thank you Pat! I am grateful to still have you in my life.
I began by talking about mentorship because my next conversation was held with a special student who was matched to me by CASE Western Reserve University. In his freshman year, Anthony, was trying to decide if his major would be in psychology with an emphasis on social, clinical, behavioral, or organizational psychology — that’s why they matched us up.
What could have been a single meeting has turned into a real friendship. Anthony is now in his senior year at CASE majoring in psychology and sociology. He is applying to graduate schools and plans to teach English in Japan for the first two years after graduation. Anthony is a stellar student. Always holds down a job. He is currently a resident advisor responsible for the health and well-being of more than forty students who have returned to campus during this Pandemic.
Anthony has only returned home to New Orleans a few times in the four years and so I have shared my home, my animals, beach walks, celebrations, and neighbors. I even cooked for him. I hope that we will be family forever.
Yesterday, we went to the farmers market to shop for fall goodies. While driving I told him about my writing series and asked him to consider the questions.
You would laugh if you met Anthony and me. He is 21 to my 61, a handsome African American man, he is quiet and reserved with a gentle smile and he makes people who I introduce him to feel comfortable instantly. He is able bodied in every situation I drag him into. So I waited for what I expected were the handful of words to slowly be shared.
Not today. Anthony is clear about who he is, what his values are, and where he is going.
When asked about burnout, he replied, ‘Yes I probably am but I am evolving too. I am grateful for what is and what it isn’t. So I don’t feel any distress.’
Yikes. If only I had my head so clear when I was his age. I could have avoided many pitfalls.
When I shared the marathon metaphor and asked his thoughts about running the last phase in the dark. Again, he surprised me with a quick and confident answer, ‘I go at my own pace. It isn’t about finishing first or second…it is my own journey. I feel confident that there is light at the end of this experience. I am going to take it slow, accept any offers of help, food and water, and think about the bigger picture. I have been in this kind of long experience before and once this marathon is complete there will be more in my future.’
Quiet, wise, and filled with good thoughts is how I describe my mentee and friend Anthony. Though we were matched because I had something he might need, I certainly receive from every interaction with him. He gives me confidence about our future. He will be someone engaged in picking up our pieces.
Here, when the light is dim and the experience draws longer, I am coming to understand how important it is to seek the perspectives of many people, especially those different from us. I believe one strategy to not become narrow, myopic, and isolated through is to broaden our contacts, expand our perspectives, listen deeply to others, and take it all in.
As always, there is much to learn, and great learning comes from the most challenging experiences.
How are you making you way?
Whose wisdom are you carrying with you?
Leslie
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
― Nelson Mandala
