“Count your age by friends, not years.
Count your life by smiles, not tears.”
— John Lennon.
There are many things that come into focus as you age. All that’s required is to learn the lessons, see the patterns, and accept the wisdom that has been shared with you along the way.
In my imagination, it is somewhat like scaling a mountain, reaching the summit, and experiencing a vista not previously visible. All around me my parents, teachers, mentors, and others have been sharing their life experiences and trying to impart their wisdom. It didn’t always take or matter much to me that they were offering lessons so I could avoid the pain of learning life on my own.
But, I have come to discover it simply doesn’t work that way. I needed to try and fail, falter, fall, and get up, all on my own. Then, repeat the pattern until I really understood how it affected me. These sages around were right, one must repeat these lesson until it is accepted as learning.
I have to admit, I do like this aging thing. I am growing older, wiser, and more open to all that is to be learned; but I am not old in my mind or my body.
I love self-discovery. I am grateful to understand my strengths and how to apply them. I also recognize the over-use of my strengths and when I bump into one of my flat sides. I know that I will be learning and growing until my last breath. At least, that is the plan.
This summer has been filled with challenges and unplanned interruptions. None of which stopped me in my tracks. It was with the support and help of friends that I maintained my positive attitude, secured the resources I needed, and navigated all these odd-ball events that enriched the summer of 2024:
• Unplanned litter of French Bulldogs
• Unplanned surgery
• A new book launch
• Credit card and website hacking
• A big household leak.
All this craziness did not happen at the same time but lined up like planes landing at an airport. During each event, somehow I found the silver lining, accepted help, and made friends along the way.
This leads me to the most recent big lesson of life: friendship is the most precious gift you will receive. It won’t be the material things you acquire or your wealth or position at work or in the community that will be most valuable to you – it will be your friendships.
At a time when I was being stretched and challenged, it was my friends who helped me through and contributed to my positive attitude.
In the spring, it was the helping hands of Reeny, Breezy, and Eddie who cleared the cottage and helped to prepare it for sale.
As I let go of one house, I turned my attention to the second house — now the only house in my life — and with the very experienced hands of Master Carpenter Eddie S., the big house is being painted this summer and every little house project is being added to the list. I affectionately refer to Eddie as my house husband. Every single girl should have someone like Eddie, whose son Cole worked with him side-by-side this summer, approaching the project with old school effort and picking up the pieces of me and the dog pack and puppy litter as each mini crisis beset us.
I could never have successfully raised a litter of puppies without the ‘Village of helping hands’ who leaned in to support little two-ounce puppies to grow into healthy, happy dogs who are finding their forever families as we speak. This experience was a surprise to everyone. I can’t remember the last time when I had to do something that was unplanned and without preparation. I will forever be grateful to everyone who shared the responsibility and the fun!
As Northeast Ohio was surprised by tornados that zoomed along the lake and into our eastern region, I thought I was going to experience being in a real-life Twister movie. It was only a matter of minutes that I held my breath in my car as the storm raged and then drove into the devastation along the path to my home. Then it was a week without power and connectivity. And a month of hard work for the cleanup. Throughout the entire process, I witnessed the pulling together of neighbors, friends, strangers, and working folks helping each other with great resiliency. (I have just added securing a generator to Eddie’s list.)
Simultaneously, I was preparing for a different kind of storm. A scheduled colonoscopy had revealed a malignant tumor. It was not my first dance with cancer, but this one felt more serious. I put my head down and worked the plan. I had a short twenty days to get my life in order before a serious surgery whose outcome was yet to be determined. This time was interrupted by the tornado but enhanced by a surprise visit from a friend from England.
Sarah blew in the day after the tornado to help me do something I had never done. I had decided to approach this second cancer diagnosis a little differently than the first. I was going to try to accept help and not just ‘super woman’ my way through. I wanted to approach it with positive intention as well as every appointment and new person with grace. I told those I had time to talk it through with and didn’t publicize or write about it as I am now. I wanted to have a business to return to and commitments on the calendar. My plan was to create a future – whatever the outcome.
I had a friend in the household who could stand up to my independent nature, has a wicked sense of humor, and took over the household. Everyone she met made a new friend. I did all that I needed to do to prep and spiced it all up with some fun – even a Savannah Bananas baseball game.
Old friend Allen arrived as backup to wrangle the dogs and puppies and even wrangle me.
I have never felt more loved, valued, or safe. Care packages, flowers, visits, and phone calls filled my time. The pain meds did their job and masked my arthritic knee — which I rediscovered when I tapered off the drugs. The pathology showed 0 cancer cells in my lymph nodes, but I still need an oncologist as the cancer did breach the colon walls. This is all good news. You will have me around for much longer and I am still as spicy as ever.
May I ask you to schedule your colonoscopy? It is a sneaky, silent, with-no-symptoms disease that doesn’t discriminate. I want you in my life, too — for a long time.
Right before this Labor Day Holiday, I had my follow-up appointment with the surgeon. I put the puppies in a wagon and towed them into her offer. Dr. C and her staff enjoyed puppy therapy and then I rolled over to the hospital floor where I had recovered after surgery. The staff and patients had a blast. They were amazed how well I looked and thrilled by the puppy visit.
A nurse who made a significantly strong and good impression upon me was so happy to see me. Between my discharge and this surprise visit she had discovered that her son knew me well from my work in his organization. Our worlds are very small, and we are just six degrees of separation from knowing each other. It was a great reunion and Nurse Jan — and her son and family — will be friends, long into my future.
I am grateful that all the unplanned interruptions have had happy endings, except that we have yet to source the leak in the house yet! Along the way, I was supported by an army of friends and, of course, I made new friends, too. I am confident that unplanned interruptions will still populate my life. I now know that I can surmount anything if I accept help from my friends.
My wish is that you, too, have discovered the value of friendship and have a breadth and depth of relationships that enrich your daily life!
Grateful Girl,
Leslie
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo,
but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you
when the limo breaks down.”
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