“There is no elevator to success.
You have to take the stairs.”
— Zig Ziglar
My intention every day is to be my best self in every interaction.
I don’t always succeed in my goal.
At the end of this week, while I was talking on an early morning call with someone I admire and whose well-being and success is important to me, I discovered — for the umpteenth — time this lesson. This colleague and I had ended our Thursday together and started our Friday debriefing on the phone. The week had been long, filled with unexpected challenges and positive surprises. We were both tired.
While I offered up some coaching (which this valued and wise friend does not necessarily need), I realized that it wasn’t really coaching, it was me, speaking out loud to myself.
“We are tired,” I shared. “When I am tired, I don’t always measure the weight of my words. We ought to be careful today. Perhaps we should think about what needs to be said — and what can wait.” My voice was low and gravely reminding me of how hard I had driven my body this week.
As I continued to speak, what leaped into my head was that the Sawubona attitude and presence that I aspire to bring to every greeting and interaction was at a very low ebb. The spirit of “I see you” was still in my body, but the energy it would take to slow myself down and pause — in order to really be present for each new greeting — was not yet available. My counsel to myself was “Slow down. Careful. Don’t react. Pause.”
I then said these things to a friend, colleague, and fellow leader. He understood that this was not a lecture from Leslie, but rather my own self-awareness being spoken out loud. I know that when I am tired, I still have self-awareness — but not the level of self-control that I attempt to bring to all situations. These two important abilities are the foundation of emotional intelligence.
For me to embrace my Sawubona commitment, I need every ounce of emotional intelligence I can muster.
After the call and conversation ended, I wondered, “Under what conditions does my best-self struggle to show up — or not?”
From a friend I learned the saying, “HALT – Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.” That is my test. When I feel hungry, angry, lonely, or tired should I stop and attend to my physical and emotional needs first? I know that when I do, I fill up my metaphorical gas tank with the energy I need to share generously my best self and greatest strengths with every person I meet.
• Can you relate?
I also benefit from having conversations with trusted friends and colleagues. It always pulls good stuff out of me that I can turn into action.
Without this self-awareness, I would have just made lists and used my limited energy to put my head down and plow the lists. Maybe in this low gear, I would have missed some very important signals from people around me. Maybe I would have pushed through with the tasks, bumping and bruising others along the way. This is not who I want to be. I want to do the right “what” while being very conscientious about “how” I am doing it.
That takes energy and focus.
Every day is a reset for finding that energy and channeling it in the right direction.
Leslie
“If your actions don’t live up to your words, you have nothing to say.”
―
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